God hearts Me

When we were little we went to the Mormon church in Utah. When I think back on it now, it seems like someone else's life.

here's how my memory goes.
My parents would drop us off in front of the church. My brother, sister and I would happily wave bye-bye. They would pull away from the curb and we would make a mad dash for the large bush in front of the church. There we would hang out until church was over and my parents picked us up. Sometimes we would go into the church because my sister would threaten to rat us out. God had a close eye on her apparently. Then, when I was in grade 2, I decided against going to church after all and refused to go. One night, the church people came to our house to convince me back into the arms of Jesus. So I hid in my room. They lured me out somehow and then they made my whole family stand in a circle holding hands and pray for me. My family does not hold hands. It was a bit gross.

Shortly thereafter my parents divorced and my mother whisked us off to live in Canada. The church people stopped by a few times but my mom didn't answer the door.

My adult life, up until the birth of my children, was spent questioning and then later mocking the Christian Church. I don't like people telling me I am going to hell for not thinking exactly like them. Actually, I don't like people telling me I am going to hell for anything.

Anyway, when my children were very tiny and very ill in the hospital, a nurse appeared out of a completely empty hallway and, instead of pretending to not see me cry like many others, looked me straight in the eye and told me she would pray for my children. She meant it. It made me feel so much better and I vowed to not mock any more Christians. It occurred to me that there are many many believers out there who don't feel the need to jam it down the throats of others.

So I learned to shut up and be more accepting. Which is what I am trying to do. And it's hard sometimes. Especially when there are people like Bush running around claiming to be such a good Christian while killing thousands of innocent people. Ahh, but that's another story. I'm really trying.