It's been a busy few days. My husband is a horrible insomniac which is driving me mad. Toss turn grumble. Toss turn grumble. Flip pillow, pause, violently kick blanket. Eventually sleep on the couch. Or not sleep - whatever.
So I am tired and bitchy at him and bitchy at the world. I ate a whole pizza tonight as a reward for going to the gym yesterday for the first time in (seriously) 3 years. I ran for 15 minutes on the treadmill and when I got home, fell asleep sitting up on the couch. Fucking pathetic but I was really too tired to care.

I have been watching a tonne of tv lately. Yesterday I watched Dr.Phil with Bill Cosby as the guest. Now I have fond memories of Bill as a kid. He is kind of a father figure to millions of americans (and canadians) I am sure but he just pissed me off. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Serious. He's all yabba dabba doo yop dee dop. He's trying to give these teenagers advice but advice from 1950 where he's cracking all these shit-eating faces to the audience and they're all laughing and the poor oxy contin riddled teen has a look like he may want to cut Mr. Cosby. It was like the old boys club with the richy rich fat men. Blach.


My very elderly step-grandmother is ill with a bad cold and had to be admitted to the hospital which is not funny. What is funny is that she peeled off her shirt in front of my step dad. He was like "they were really ....long" Poor guy, he's so nice. Nobody wants to see their mothers breasts. My mom and I were laughing so hard she peed. It's not like step-granny has lost her mind, she just doesn't care. It's only fair he had to see them as last time I had to take her in for an enema which was described to me in great and horrifying detail all that long long drive home.

My children napped today which was a victory and a half. I wish it didn't bother me so much when they refused. It's actual rage I feel. I just keep smiling a crazy crazy smile but inside I am outraged. I need my stipend of time in the day to recharge. Maybe I will start sending them to the gym to run on the treadmill and I will go and quietly colour at a little table with mean-janice the babysitter watching me. Ah, that sounds nice.