Family reunion 2005

Remember Kim? My cousin who hates me for no reason? Well, in truth, the reason she hates me is because I politely asked her a while back to stop emailing me crazy Christian emails telling me that if I didn't email it to 1500 more friends then god would condemn my soul to eternal hell. I told her I am a Buddhist which is not necessarily true but what the fuck does she know? She's waiting on me to torch some babies and drink goat's blood, the theologian that she is.
So Kim was at this year's version of the family reunion. She was with her parents who still reside somewhere in 1964. Also her husband who we've decided is hot for my husband.
So I see my Uncle and go to give hime a hug and his entire body tenses and a look of horror crosses his face. Why? I don't know. He's a freak, I suppose. But I give him a hug to beat the band baby. And a big kiss too.
I see Kim and I say "HI!" Her response was to brush past me and give me a dirty look. What a beeeeee-otch.
I can only describe her hair as pubic. Yes, the hair on her head, don't be creepy. It's like she back-combed it, then hairsprayed it, then if that wasn't enough abuse, combed the giant matty mess out straight. One two three PUBIC!
She was also wearing no less than 15 crosses on her body. Like a prayer she'll take you there. I had to mention it didn't I? She was wearing them for me I cn only assume. Me and my demons. So I say "Wow! Kim! You sure have a lot of crosses! You must really be religious!"
Another dirty look but at least I deserved it. Then I left her and her family behind the golf course clubhouse, on the tiny concrete slab, chain smoking and whispering about me, and I went for a swim. Quite lovely.