next time, don't stay so long.

You know that feeling of dread when you wake up with a pounding headache and last night is a big blur? That's me Saturday morning. It's been a long time since I've had a hangover and I am fairly certain it will be a while again.

Stephanie invites herself and family, along with another couple and their kids, to my house for dinner etc. Friday night.

I am fairly certain, based on eye witness reports, that I was a complete and utter asshole. When I say asshole, I mean getting rip roaring drunk and sneaking off to the bathroom to smoke pot by myself in the room next to one of their sleeping children.

First of all, before you get all judgey on me, I am blaming my husband. He knows I have no 'off' switch. I can't be trusted when I drink 3 bottles of wine and he married me knowing full-well. Before you go calling social services, my husband was sober.

Oh gawd, I want to die of embarrassment. Now I have to apologize for putting their child in potential danger. Not a real danger because, lets face it, the child probably gets more chemicals in his lungs just being outside near traffic (if he got any at all). But I have to apologize because I'm a grown up (dammit!) Not everybody sees it my way.

I wish I had the kind of friends that would laugh at my bad behavior. You know, enable me a little. I can just picture old skunk-cut Steph calling all of the other mothers in town and letting them know just how bad that mum is. The grade 7 girl in me just makes me break out in hives with worry over that one.

I am on my best behavior now. Whatever that means.